Claus's Adventures in Smash High
by Gaia Dragon
Summary: Claus and Lucas are two new kids in Smash High. Through their education, they will discover friends, legends and some really freaky stuff. This story contains ALL characters from Nintendo except for Sonic and Snake. Inspired by Mario's High School Days.
1. New school, new madness

**Hi there. My name is Gaia Dragon. I was once known as Trini T. It has been 2 years since I joined . And now, I give you my first serious story: Claus's adventures in Smash High!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo  
**

The year is 2009. The location is Nintendo city, the capital of Nintendoland. We see two twins walking on a sidewalk. One has blonde hair and the other has orange hair. They are called Lucas and Claus, respectively

"Clauuuuus!" cried Lucas who was struggling to keep up with his older twin. "Wait for me!" "Phhhttt," said Claus, "We're going to be late for school. If you can't keep the pace, don't join the race!" 5 minutes later, they arrived at the local comprehensive, Smash High. Smash High was the best high school in Nintendoland. It had the highest exam grades in the state. Lucas and Claus were very lucky to get a scholarship to that school. They were new kids.

_5 minutes later..._

See you later!" said Lucas, "I've got to find my classroom!" Claus waved goodbye and consulted his map. His room was room 67. That was nice, except the only problem was that he couldn't find where the hell it was on the map! Then, the worst possible thing happened. The bell for homeroom ran. Claus started to panic. He turned around and came face to face... with the room 67 sign. Claus groaned and walked through the classroom door.

"Good morning class!" said the teacher. "Good morning Mr. Shad." said the class in a monotone voice. "We have a new student with us today. His name is Claus. Claus, could you please put your hand up?" Claus did that. "Great. Ness, could you please show Claus around today?" "Yes, Mr. Shad." said Ness. "Good. Now class, today we are going to be learning about the Ikanians. Please turn your history text books to page 23. Now, the Ikanians were a great nation. They had great warriors and blah blah blah blah blah..." 10 minutes into the lesson, Claus had absolutely no idea what Shad was talking about. Other students were equally as bored and had resorted to playing Nintendo DS Lites, reading books and doing other recreational activities. Claus could only put his fingers in his ears and hope that the lesson ended soon.

**More insanity to come! Smash High is not a normal school! :D**


	2. Possessed Bins and food fights

**Hello! I'm back, even no-one reviewed! It make me sad... but anyway, enough of the ranting and on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't known Nintendo**

Thankfully, it was lunch time. Claus didn't want to spend any more minutes inside Shad's room. Why did he have to get such a boring teacher? Murphy's Law was clearly against him. Anyway, Ness was showing Claus around. Ness was a friendly guy, even if he did have a slight obession with PSI and ESP. While touring the school, Claus noticed a small crowd in the middle of the courtyard.

"Hey, Ness. What's that small crowd over there?" asked Claus

"Those people are watching the fencing club," replied Ness.

"So? Why are people so excited?"

"Monday is the day of the Quick Draw, which is today. It's really exciting. Two fencers stand apart from each other and wait until the other person moves. Then they rush at each other really quick and try to knock the sword out of the other person's hand." explained Ness.

"...why are there so many girls in the crowd?" wondered Claus.

"I'm getting to that." said Ness, "There are four cool guys in the fencing club. Marth, Roy, Ike and Link. They also look good, which is why there are so many girls there."

While watching the Quick Draw, Claus noticed a tall, blue skinned, red-haired woman. Claus somehow knew her, even though he had never met her in his entire life.

"Hey, Claus! The Quick Draw is about to start! Look!" shouted Ness rather excitedly.

A blue-haired boy (Marth) and a blonde guy in a green tunic (Link) got into fighting positions. They stared at each other, as if searching for other's soul. They didn't move a muscle. Minutes turned into hours. You could pratically feel the tension in the air. A tumbleweed rolled nearby. No-one noticed it though, they were too concerned about the two swordsmen. Then, Marth sneezed.

ZOOM!

Link rushed forward and instantly knocked the sword out of Marth's hand. Link had won! The crowd started cheering very loudly. "Wasn't that great?" smiled Ness. Claus had to agree.

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**20 mins Later...**

Claus and Ness were walking down a corridor. Ness was munching on an apple.

"Where are even going?" asked Claus.

"To the cafeteria," said Ness.

"How can you eat so much?"

"I'm a growing boy."

"Dude, you ate 2 of those hot dogs when were touring the cookery club."

"I didn't eat two, I ate one!"

"It was a foot long."

"A foot isn't that long."

"A foot is 30 centimeters. You can't get much longer than that."

"I don't care."

"Which is why you're so fat."

"I'm not fat. I'm wearing 3 jackets."

"Prove it."

Ness took all his clothes off except for his pants and a shirt. He had a surprisingly slim body.

"..." that was all Claus could say.

"Told you so,"

With that last comment, Ness threw the apple core (he had finished the apple) into the bin. The bin started the shake. Now, normally, you don't see an inanimate object moving. But Ness stared at it as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "Claus, could please take my baseball bat out my backpack? It's brown and thin, you can't miss it?" Claus had no idea what Ness was going to do to the bin, but be obliged. Ness's baseball bat was, as Ness said, thin and brown. However, there was a purple glow emitting from it.

Ness took the baseball bat and with a mighty swing, smashed the baseball bat into the bin. The bin flew into a wall and crumpled up. However, it was not finished. The bin suddenly grew eye stalks and flew forward! Ness assumed a defensive position and readied himself to strike. The bin flew forward and smacked Ness, giving him a bloody nose. At least, that's what it would've liked to have happened. Instead, when the bin was a centimetre away from Ness, he brought the baseball bat crashing down, permanently defeating the bin. Claus just stared in awe.

"What was that?" he gasped.

"That was a possessed bin," said Ness matter-of-factly, "There have been numerous sightings around here. Well, we've wasted time! Let's go to the cafeteria." With that, Ness headed of the to cafeteria, whistling. Claus wondered why his parents had enrolled him in such a crazy high school.

.

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**In the cafeteria...**

Claus grabbed his food and sat down with Ness. He had a burger, a can of lemonade and a chocolate donut. Ness hadn't got anything. "Why haven't you got anything?" asked Claus "I'm not here for the food," replied Ness mysteriously. "Whatever..."

On the other side of the cafeteria, there are two Italian boys. One wears red and one wears green. They are called Mario and Luigi. There is a bag beside their table. Two tables down, a bipedal fox (named Fox, how original) is carrying a tray with ball of soup. As he passes the Italian table he trips over the bag and spills his soup onto Mario's spaghetti. Something in side Mario's brain snapped. His pasta was ruined. His wonderful, delicious pasta, which he had been looking forward for all day. And this fox-person just came by and ruined it! How dare he. HOW DARE HE! He was going to teach that fox a lesson he'd never forget. And thus, Mario took his ruined pasta and threw it into Fox's face. And thus started a major food war.

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Claus was just finishing off his donut when he heard some very loud noises from the other side of the cafeteria.

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Fox had no idea what happened, but he did know that steaming hot spaghetti was suddenly in his eyes. Blinded, he stumbled back and collapsed onto an unsuspecting Link. Link scowled and threw his strawberry cake at Fox, but it missed and hit Luigi instead. Mario jumped onto the table and with a cry of "No-one hurts my brother!" threw a can of soda at Link. Link ducked at the last second and it hit Marth square in the face, who was on the other side of the table. Hot, red blood squirted out of Marth's nose. Link just stared in horror. His look of horror soon became a look of rage as he grabbed a rock solid fruitcake and with a mighty swing, threw it. It missed its target and flew to the other side of the cafeteria.

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Ness sat his table, twiddling his thumbs. Then he saw Claus get hit in the face with a cold meat pie. Ness started to laugh but the fun ended abruptly as the fruitcake smashed the back of his head. Ness fell down unconscious. But before he did, he gasped, "I've been waiting all week for this!"

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Mario was taunting Link with insulting words such as "skirt wearer" and "elf-boy". Link roared, grabbed his wooden sword and lunged at Mario. "I'm going to castrate you, you fillthy Italian!" Mario gulped and started running for his life, but years of gorging on Italian food had limited his speed somewhat. Link quickly caught up to him and started bashing the wooden sword over Mario's head. Mario countered with a kick to the guts. Link staggered back and fell on a blue vixen, who just happened to be Fox's girlfriend.

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Fox woke up with a start. His eyes were burning like hell, so he quickly wiped all of the pasta off his face. He was just in time to see Link fall down on Krystal. Rage erupted inside Fox's body.

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Link realised he was a woman's body. To make matters worse, it was Fox's girlfriend (who was unconscious at that moment)! It was not wise to anger fox, as he was the 7th strongest kid in the school. Link gulped tried to scramble off, but Mario had him pinned down. Unfortunately for Link, Fox regained consciousness just then.

"YOU'RE DEAD!"  
Fox ran at lightning speed and slammed a hammer blow onto Link's skull. Link screamed as he felt excruciating pain but quickly recovered and slammed his wooden sword onto Fox's forehead. Fox went out like a light. Then, the cry that everyone had been waiting for, was shouted. "FOOD FIGHT!" Total pandemonium reigned.

To put a long story short, around 70 students were injured and out of the 70, 30 had nasty burns on various parts of the body. Those that we injured (Ness was among them) were sent to Nurse Joy's sick bay. The ones that weren't injured were told to go back to classes. Fox, Link, Mario and Luigi were punished for being stupid, which is one of the worst crimes ever in Nintendo High.

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